I have stared at the blank page for this section a while now.
The caret blinking; echoing in my ears like intervals of a metronome. My Sun, Mercury, Pluto & Venus are all in Scorpio so my natural tendency is to go deep. I am intense. It can be hard sometimes to not take things so seriously. But this is who I am. So sitting down to write about myself was no small feat.
After much contemplation, soul searching & many many resets I have found some words that explain a bit about who I am.
I am someone who has struggled for a very long time throughout my life. I have dealt with some really heavy shit that includes addiction, mental illness, crippling social anxiety, physical & mental abuse, sexual assault & very serious depression. I know what it is like to not want to get out of bed for days at a time. I know what it is like to feel small & alone, isolated. I know what it is like to feel misunderstood. I know what pain feels like.
My gifts were never explained to me. Looking back I recall pieces of whispered conversations about such things but it was more of a curious notation. My life was also so tumultuous that I never had a strong foundation. I was never truly grounded ~ something that has become incredibly important to me now. I have existed in survival mode for years.
I also grew up during a time where women were stepping into their power. Being a strong female was starting to become respected. This inspired me. It was in direct contrast to the religion that I was submerged in. Constantly being told to “be a nice girl”, to be quiet, to serve & to be selfless. This manifested into a point of depletion. I became a hollow shell of my true self. My gifts were so strong & misunderstood that participating in the world was overwhelming. I got lost.
In 2016 I lost my mom. She had a hard life. While her death was not unexpected I was not prepared for it. I went through the motions of grief. There were many competing forces during that time – people demanding that their grief was greater – their loss was more profound & I should put my own aside for others. This just about killed me. I became a stranger to myself. I stood still. I went in.
I always felt like my mom was the only person who understood me ~ I feel my empathy and compassion for others comes from her. Our relationship was difficult but she taught me to loosen up and to enjoy life. She loved my weird. She taught me how to see the beauty in everything. To celebrate & live life with grandeur. To love.
As I was moving through my grief I remembered this.She started sending me signs & I started paying attention. I started putting myself first. I started to heal. Slowly at first ~ using logic & my head to seek out help. I turned to traditional practitioners, psychologists & therapists. What I came out with was one diagnosis after another: overweight, rapid cycling bi-polar, manic depressive, ADHD. None ever sitting quite right. With each diagnosis I was offered “relief” from a little notepad & a cocktail that made me feel less and less like myself. I felt numb.
I persisted. I trusted my intuition even though everyone kept telling me that I was losing my mind. I put myself out in the world as uncomfortable as that was for an introvert. I tapped into an innate knowing that food heals and began nurturing myself. I believed in impossibility. I trusted that I could heal & that I would find others like me.
One by one. At the right time in the right places. I started to learn about my gifts & I started to develop. I committed to putting myself first. I learned how to establish boundaries. I built a foundation & grounded. I trusted myself. I discovered who I am. I realized that I was never broken.
So who am I?
I am a reader. I am a physical medium, an intuitive, a psychic. I have a very intimate connection with the world around me. I experience it differently than most. Empath, sensitive, kinesthetic, sentient. Whatever you want to call it. I feel. I feel what others allow me to in both the energetic & physical realms.
I know what uncontrollable internal bleeding feels like.
I know what crippling paralysis feels like.
I know what liver failure feels like.
I know what regret feels like.
I know sadness.
I know pain.
I know joy.
I know peace.
I know passion.
I know excitement.
I know forgiveness.
I know compassionate love.
I have felt all of these things & more from the readings that I have been welcomed into. I create space & use my body for connection. I feel things that bring me to tears & remind me of how beautiful our lives are. I find the words when you can’t. I have learned so much from the vulnerability of others. I am incredibly grateful for everyone who shares with me.
It brings me happiness & fulfillment in a way that has brought me back to life.
Not only am I embracing who I am naturally ~ I am creating deep connections to people. I am trusting in my intuition & discovering the magnificent possibility that our futures hold if we just let go.
Divination is all around us. I think that is the part that most people forget. Every interaction we have with one another is not a coincidence. We are the creators of our own reality and anything is possible. Once we start to realize that & figure out how we want to feel that is when the miracles happen. That is when change happens.
Treat your heart, your mind and your body with respect.
Live in harmony with nature.
Share, connect and be vulnerable.
Trust yourself. Stay Curious.
Choose joy. Choose love. Choose your heart.
Amber is a practicing medium & tarot reader. She is an ongoing student of the Arthur Findlay College & participates in development circles & seminars with the Lily Dale Assembly. She has trained under Sharon McGregor – Oakville’s Readers Choice 2020 Diamond Winner for #1 Psychic Medium & has completed The Intuitives Path to Greatness L1 with Rev. Barbara Kawa Metaphysical Minister, Spiritual Advisor, Teacher, NLP Practitioner and so much more. She is currently studying astrology & numerology to add to her practice.
Amber is a founder of The Mulberry Centre for Discovery. A growing community of holistic & alternative healers, seekers and creatives who are helping to bring awareness & acceptance to the metaphysical side of healing & personal discovery.
Day to day she enjoys a successful career as a retail analyst. She has an endless love of travel, adventure & connection. She is an avid hiker, yogi & loves to cook. She spends her time connecting with her friends & family, reading, playing board games & listening to really loud music.